you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
