I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
