All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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