sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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