Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
