Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Watching her eat just hurts me
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
