Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Randomize
