i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
No subtext here. People are naked.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
