i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I supernannyed him into submission
I need a hoe opinion
go on
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize