i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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