Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize
