Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I just want to make out with him forever
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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