There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Randomize
