Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
