Christians are straight up FREAKS
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
