What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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