Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
