it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
