he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
