HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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