its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
