Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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