Just mADE A PArabola og urine
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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