I need help removing her.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
