Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
