So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize