Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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