you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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