Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
