Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize