Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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