Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
