my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
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