He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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