Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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