so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize