Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
