Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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