i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
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