it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
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I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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