totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
