Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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