I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize