Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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