2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Randomize
