Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
