he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
