No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
