The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
vagina is talking i cant
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
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