i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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