He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
