I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
