i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize