it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
