and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
