So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Randomize
