No more Irish car bombs ever.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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