everyone is single if you try hard enough
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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