You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
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he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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