I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
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