i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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