Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
