I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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