there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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