love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
