I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
