Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
