We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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